I think it shouldn’t be necessary to say that porcupines are God’s least hugged creatures. Within all reason, one could come to this conclusion within seconds of hugging one of these small animals. Upon touching one, or so I can only assume, one would become severely punctured with several small needles that are sharp enough to draw blood from only a very gentle hug.
Since stoicism is a dying art form (seeing as how rarely any one can shut up about every little thing plaguing them from moment to moment, being it an untied shoe, divorcee, or hemorrhaging brain clot), humans as a whole would rather surge up against these tiny and unwitting creatures, shunning them for, being it inadvertent, causing us woe. We’d much rather waste resources printing hate doctrine against porcupines, than embracing them as one should (Needles sluicing through blood vessels be it as it may). National Geographic is sure to tell us more about porcupines than cancer, heart disease and car accidents, which are conveniently our nation’s biggest problems. We’d rather depict them as brutal, heartless killers, making Ted Bundy look like a pussy cat and Wilks Booth a toddler with a squirt gun by comparison.
How long will it be until humanity wakes up and smells the java? We need to stop this hate and stop wasting our valuable resources on mocking and hissing at these poor creatures. I challenge you, dear reader, to give up those “Half Caff Mocha Lattes” you love so much for a month and spend the savings on a Kevlar vest, so you too can hug these much trampled underfoot animals. And don’t worry; you’ll have plenty of time to whine about your waning libido and epilepsy while the spines aren’t penetrating your chest.
“Some would say ‘Grab life by the horns’… Sure, sure… But I say ‘Grab life by the porcupines; you’ll never believe what sticks with you,”.
- Cole
No comments:
Post a Comment