Guitars in Heat

Well, it's been a long week. And I use that term lightly, seeing as how all weeks are all the same duration. "Long" refers moreso to the foresight, and what will be happening in weeks to come, not so much meters, time, or trouser size (Ladies, you know what I'm talking about). Nope, this has been a long week spent in somewhat quiet contemplation, laced stealthily with hopefulness and optimism. Now before I get all saccharine on you, I'll have to say that you've probably stumbled on this blog by accident and (seeing as how traffic may be few) I plan to keep you sucked in by any means necessary (Ladies, you know what I mean). If you did, however, come here on purpose, I'm delighted. Stay awhile and enjoy yourself. This brainchild of mine will be a testament to all I've achieved as a man on this crazy Earth. Ventures, advice, jokes, stories, or anything else I find to be worthwhile to combat the onslaught of crap on this wide web.

Since this is clearly a heavy order, I'll keep it brief for now: Don't leave your guitar out in a hot car.

The back windows of my '98 Taurus are tinted just past the legal limit in Minnesota (Which is fine, because I'm out of state right now. Cue shifty eyes) but don't be fooled. If you've ever owned an Easy Bake Oven, you know what I'm talking about here: Heat Convection at its finest. At this point, I'd much rather throw my guitar over the piping hot, Temp Warning laden, edges of Mount Vesuvius (Along with a few people to offer as human sacrifice to Quetzalcoatl. Cue more shifty eyes; You know who you are).

Back to the point of hand, unless you like tuning repeatedly, I'd advise keeping ice in your acoustic guitar case. You know, buy one of those gas station 40 pounder bags and just dump it in. It's the only hope for battling our one true enemy: The sun. This may be a little late (Being July and all) but I'd like to wish you all a happy summer. Kick back, take a vacation to visit some loved ones, and always keep your voice in tune. You never know when you might need to do some impromptu singing.

Pressing onward,

Cole, "DoctorAutopsy"