Deep Thoughts

Ever eaten anything in the shower? Now, before you jump to conclusions, I'm not going to say that I'm a frequent shower eater. After a great conversation I had with a certain someone, I was provoked to take a shower (You know how those gritty conversations get you all dirty feeling? Something like that.). Though on my way to the bathroom, I got the sudden urge to eat cantaloupe. Now, in a normal situation, I'd probably have yelled at the wall for not magically producing a chopped cantaloupe, then taken a shower and acted all passive-aggressive to anyone foolish enough to try talking to me. Instead of getting man-bitchy, I snagged the nearest cantaloupe, and with a devious glint in my eyes, I snuck it into the bathroom and started the shower. I let the water run for a while so that it'd drown (Pun intended) out the sound of me giggling like a crazen hyena. When you get to be as nuts and cunning as me, you take in stride that people get worried when you're giggling in the bathroom.

After thinking about the consequences of stealing an entire cantaloupe, I jumped in the shower and stared at the pilfered piece of produce. Was this really worth it?

That question was easily answered when I ripped the rinds to shreds and started eating the thing whole, like a Blackfoot devouring the still-beating heart of the fallen buffalo. This got me to thinking: Why aren't there restaurants that serve their meals in the shower? Come in dirty and hungry, come out well groomed and well fed. It's the perfect idea. Having a bachelorette party? I'd be damned sure the waiter was wearing a Speedo as he brought the lasagna into the big bath.

Anyone knowing of a place like that should really tell me; I'd be there at least twice a week. Just don't drop the soap in the Creme Brulee.

~Doc